Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Making waves on Discord:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Spotted on Threads:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Just landed via YouTube:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Funny disconnect quotes

Funny disconnect quotes bring a burst of laughter when technology acts up or conversations abruptly end 😂💻 Whether it’s about dropped calls, Wi-Fi fails, or awkward silences, these witty gems turn frustration into fun 🤪📵 Get ready to smile and share some lighthearted moments that perfectly capture those unexpected digital breakups! 🎉📱#TechTroubles #OopsMoments

New funny disconnect quotes 👇

All funny disconnect quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

24 shares on Telegram this month:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

18 shares on X this month:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent someone who holds me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step to recovery is addiction.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Going viral on X:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Just shared via Telegram:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Going bananas on X:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Spotted on X:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Live now on Telegram:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

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