Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just shared via X:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Freshly posted on X:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Making waves on Threads:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Funny Disney quotes

Funny Disney quotes sprinkle a little magic and laughter into your day ✨😂 Whether you’re a princess, hero, or sidekick, these witty lines from your favorite movies bring joy and smiles that last forever 🌟🎬 Get ready to laugh out loud and feel all the feels with some unforgettable Disney humor that’s perfect for sharing with friends and family! 🎉🐭 #DisneyMagic #LaughsForDays

New funny Disney quotes 👇

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

2 months ago

apple, cheer, Disney, fairy, fairy tale, greed, greedy, humor, need, parody, poison, poison apple, princess, profiteer, satire, tale
After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

2 months ago

adult, adult problems, after, being, childhood, dance, disappointment, Disney, good, humor, movy, problems, raised, song
Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

2 months ago

clean, creature, creatures, Disney, help, humor, i, just, laundry, me, set, sing, standards, unrealistic, unrealistic standards, window, woodland, woodland creature

All funny Disney quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Trending via Pinterest:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Just landed via WeChat:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Trending via LinkedIn:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Spotted on Discord:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Seen just now on Threads:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Broadcasted on X:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

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