Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Trending via Facebook:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Going viral on Instagram:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Trending via Messenger:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Breaking via Telegram:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Just shared via Instagram:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Funny don’t quotes

Funny don’t quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to life’s little rules and reminders 😂✨ Whether you’re dodging awkward moments or just need a quick laugh, these witty nuggets keep things light and entertaining 🎉💡 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even rethink those everyday “don’ts” with a playful twist! 😜🎈

New funny don’t quotes 👇

All funny don’t quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on X this month:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Making waves on TikTok:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Shared recently on Discord:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Just shared via Telegram:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Live now on Reddit:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Going viral on Threads:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

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