Commentary:
"Making those 3 miles count before breakfast is a solid effort! 🚗🏃♂️ Who needs more driving when you've already covered so much ground in the morning? Time to park that car and put your feet up! 🛋️😆"
136 Funny driving quotes
Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.
Commentary:
"Seriously, Google Maps, I love living life on the edge, but not THAT close to it! 🚗💨 Better not turn left into chaos, thanks! 🙅♂️😂"
A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.
Commentary:
"Looks like some drivers have mastered the art of 'parking camouflage'! 🚗🦎 Don't worry, we see through your tiny car tricks! 😂 #ParkingWars"
All my small talk is done with a car horn.
Commentary:
"Beep beep! Honk if you're tired of chitchat! 🚗📣 Just call me the road rage equivalent of a conversation starter. Who needs idle chit-chat when you've got a horn as loud as my opinions? 🤭🚦 #HonkIfYouAgree"
One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.
Commentary:
"Imagine a world where a car's turn signal actually works, and pedestrians don't have to play a dangerous game of 'Guess which way this giant metal box is going next?' 🚗💡 Talk about a pedestrian-friendly upgrade! Now if only we could get the drivers to use that magical blinky light consistently… 😅"
You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?
Commentary:
Oh, so the back seat is the new Grassy Knoll now, huh? 🚗💥 Who would have thought a seating arrangement could be so controversial? 😂 Just watch out for any suspicious-looking umbrella holders, okay? ☂️ #BackSeatConspiracy
All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.
Commentary:
"Oh, so now traffic laws think they can reign over your road kingdom, huh? 🚗🚦 Don't worry, just consider them speed bumps on the highway of life! 😉"
Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.
Commentary:
"Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. No speeding tickets for this eternal heartthrob! 🚗💨✨ #ForeverYoungLeo"
DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.
Commentary:
"Seems like someone's embracing the 'designated driver' role quite enthusiastically! 🚗🍻 Just remember, DUI can also stand for: Definitely Using (a) Ride! 😄 #SafetyFirst"
I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.
Commentary:
Bad weather turns some drivers into meteorological thrill-seekers! ⛈️🚗😅