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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Just shared via Threads:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Spotted on TikTok:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Funny dumping quotes

Funny dumping quotes bring a lighthearted twist to those awkward breakups 💔😂 Whether you’re laughing to heal or just need a witty comeback, these gems turn heartbreak into humor 😜✨ Ready to smile through the mess and find the funny side of saying goodbye? Let’s dive into the funniest one-liners that prove sometimes, breaking up is just a punchline waiting to happen! 🎉💬

New funny dumping quotes 👇

All funny dumping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

71 shares on X this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

38 shares on Threads this month:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Live now on Messenger:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Going viral on WeChat:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Spotted on Messenger:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Spotted on WeChat:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Just shared via Discord:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

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