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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Seen just now on X:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Going bananas on Twitch:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Just shared via Messenger:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Breaking via TikTok:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Funny dumping quotes

Funny dumping quotes bring a lighthearted twist to those awkward breakups 💔😂 Whether you’re laughing to heal or just need a witty comeback, these gems turn heartbreak into humor 😜✨ Ready to smile through the mess and find the funny side of saying goodbye? Let’s dive into the funniest one-liners that prove sometimes, breaking up is just a punchline waiting to happen! 🎉💬

New funny dumping quotes 👇

All funny dumping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Shared recently on Threads:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Making waves on Facebook:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Going viral on Facebook:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Just landed via Instagram:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Seen just now on Twitch:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Spotted on Instagram:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Going viral on Facebook:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

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