Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Shared recently on X:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Live now on Discord:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Trending via X:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Spotted on Facebook:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Funny dysfunctional quotes

Funny dysfunctional quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s messy moments 😂💥 Whether it’s family chaos, quirky friendships, or everyday blunders, these witty lines capture the perfect blend of love and lunacy 💬💖 Get ready to laugh out loud and embrace the beautiful imperfections that make life uniquely entertaining! 🎉😜 #Relatable #KeepItReal

New funny dysfunctional quotes 👇

All funny dysfunctional quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

62 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

85 shares on Discord this month:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

57 shares on Threads this month:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Going viral on X:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Going viral on Twitch:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

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