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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Just landed via Facebook:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Trending via Messenger:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Spotted on Threads:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Just shared via X:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Going viral on WeChat:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Trending via Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Funny dysfunctional quotes

Funny dysfunctional quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s messy moments 😂💥 Whether it’s family chaos, quirky friendships, or everyday blunders, these witty lines capture the perfect blend of love and lunacy 💬💖 Get ready to laugh out loud and embrace the beautiful imperfections that make life uniquely entertaining! 🎉😜 #Relatable #KeepItReal

New funny dysfunctional quotes 👇

All funny dysfunctional quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

66 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Going viral on Snapchat:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Just shared via Instagram:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Trending via Facebook:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Shared recently on X:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

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