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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Live now on Slack:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Making waves on Snapchat:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Seen just now on X:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Live now on TikTok:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Going viral on Slack:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Funny exclusivity quotes

Funny exclusivity quotes bring a cheeky twist to the idea of being one-of-a-kind 😎✨ Whether you’re celebrating VIP vibes or poking fun at being the “only one,” these witty lines will have you smiling 😂💫 Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your captions! Ready to embrace that exclusive vibe with a side of laughter? Let’s dive in! 🎉🔥

New funny exclusivity quotes 👇

All funny exclusivity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

67 shares on X this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

73 shares on X this month:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

54 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

91 shares on X this month:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

19 folks are currently checking 👀

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Making waves on Slack:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Live now on Messenger:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Spotted on TikTok:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Just shared via X:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Just landed via X:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

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