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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Breaking via Reddit:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Just shared via WeChat:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Going bananas on Threads:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Seen just now on X:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Going viral on Reddit:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Funny experts quotes

Funny experts quotes bring a hilarious twist to serious advice 😄💡 Whether it’s wisdom gone wild or pro tips with a punchline, these gems keep you laughing while learning 😂📚 Ready to see experts like you’ve never seen before? Let’s dive into a world where knowledge meets comedy and smart meets silly! 🎉🤓

New funny experts quotes 👇

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

0

2 months ago

everything, expert, experts, humor, irony, know, knowledge, sarcasm, shout, shout out, web
SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

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2 months ago

analytics, banana, bananas, eating, expert, experts, factor, humor, i, marketing, ranking, ranking factor, seo, traffic
Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

0

2 months ago

advice, beginning, credibility, expert, experts, humor, irony, say, sound, statement
Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

0

2 months ago

advice, brain, brain health, experts, health, health advice, human, human interaction, humor, important, interaction, risk, say, socializing

All funny experts quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on X this month:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Avocado is just green butter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Making waves on Reddit:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Live now on Threads:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Seen just now on Facebook:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

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