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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Making waves on Slack:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Trending via Facebook:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Going bananas on Messenger:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

14 Funny father quotes

More funny father quotes 👇

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

0

2 months ago

bar, call, canary, energy, energy bar, father, food, humor, joke, just, know, pet, snack
One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

0

2 months ago

children, desire, father, ice cream, kids
I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

0

2 months ago

am, children, content, content provider, dad, dad jokes, family, father, humor, i, jokes, mean, parent, parenting, proud, proud parent, provider
You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

0

2 months ago

boys, ceiling, chaos, family, family life, father, humor, know, life, parenting, print, shoe, shoe print, teen

For even more funny father quotes, hit next 👇

All funny father quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

49 shares on Slack this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

42 shares on X this month:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

16 shares on Slack this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Live now on Slack:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Trending via YouTube:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Shared recently on Twitch:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

14 Funny father quotes

More funny father quotes 👇

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

All funny father quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨