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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Spotted on Telegram:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Just shared via TikTok:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Trending via YouTube:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Funny fruit fly quotes

Funny fruit fly quotes 🍎🪰 are the perfect way to lighten up your day with a tiny buzz of humor! These little winged wonders might be small, but their antics inspire big laughs 😂. Whether you’re battling them in the kitchen or just appreciate their cheeky charm, get ready for some punny, quirky vibes that’ll have you chuckling every time you spot one flutter by! 🌟🍌

New funny fruit fly quotes 👇

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

0

2 months ago

behavior, curiosity, discover, else, exploration, fly, fruit, fruit fly, garbage, land, nagging, new, new land
As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drunk, fishing, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, party, perspective, still
She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

0

2 months ago

animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off
Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

0

5 months ago

corral, everywhere, fly, food, food place, fruit, fruit fly, funny observation, golden, Golden Corral, humor, insect, observation, place, supermarket, why

All funny fruit fly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

84 shares on Slack this month:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

38 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,338

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Just shared via Discord:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Trending via TikTok:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Just landed via Discord:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Live now on X:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴