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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Going viral on WeChat:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Just landed via TikTok:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Just landed via TikTok:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Going viral on WeChat:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Seen just now on Reddit:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Funny hold it together quotes

New funny hold it together quotes 👇

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

15 hours ago

being, break, daily, daily life, day, every, family, hold, hold it together, humor, i, just, life, mom, relief, single, stress, stress relief, together

All funny hold it together quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Going viral on Messenger:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Just landed via Discord:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Just landed via Snapchat:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Trending via Slack:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

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Funny hold it together quotes

New funny hold it together quotes 👇

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

All funny hold it together quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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