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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,769

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Just landed via Instagram:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Breaking via Telegram:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Live now on Pinterest:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Just landed via Threads:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Funny humor about money quotes

New funny humor about money quotes 👇

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

4 weeks ago

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All funny humor about money quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

66 shares on Discord this month:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Seen just now on X:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Making waves on Twitch:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Just landed via Slack:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Live now on Threads:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Going viral on Twitch:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny humor about money quotes

New funny humor about money quotes 👇

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

All funny humor about money quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨