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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has copied:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has downloaded:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say β€œthanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has shared:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has viewed:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Facebook:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear Santa, Money!

Just landed via Telegram:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Breaking via Instagram:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Trending via Threads:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Funny humor humor quotes

Funny humor humor quotes are the perfect way to brighten your day and tickle your funny bone πŸ˜‚βœ¨ Whether you need a quick laugh or some witty words to share, these gems keep the good vibes rolling πŸ˜œπŸŽ‰ Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort with joy because who doesn’t love a little lighthearted fun? πŸ˜†πŸ”₯ #LaughOutLoud #GoodVibesOnly

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All funny humor humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

For Halloween, I will be okay.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

What base is it when he says, β€œI know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, β€œI’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In high school I was voted β€œmost likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has copied:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has copied:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Twitch:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Just landed via Reddit:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Spotted on Slack:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Freshly posted on Slack:

New challenge called β€œdon’t say β€˜wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Making waves on Reddit:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Shared recently on TikTok:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

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