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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

38 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Going viral on Facebook:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Breaking via Facebook:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Live now on Messenger:

Spotted on Telegram:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Trending via Slack:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Home » Funny Lawyer Quotes

Funny lawyer quotes

Funny lawyer quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of law ⚖️😂 From witty courtroom antics to clever wordplay, these gems prove lawyers have a great sense of humor too! Whether you’re a legal eagle 🦅 or just love a good laugh, get ready to enjoy some clever, cheeky lines that make justice a little more fun 🎉💼 #LawyerLife #LaughOutLoud

New funny lawyer quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Commentary:
"Forget magic wands, this trick could really disappear some assets! 🪄💼💸🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Commentary:
"Your honor, I just wanted a hug, not a sentence! 😆⚖️ #LegalLaughter"
6 months ago
Share →: Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Commentary:
"Your honor, if I may serenade the court with the timeless classic, Wonderwall, for this 'wonder'-ful case 🎸🎶 Let's set the mood with some acoustic justice! #WonderwallDefense"
6 months ago
Share →: My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Commentary:
Well, it looks like they take "fighting for justice" quite literally in that court! 🥋💼 Hope they don't confuse the legal briefs with ninja strikes! Just imagine a dramatic courtroom scene: "Objection, Your Honor! *nunchucks move.*" 😂 #LegalNinja
6 months ago
Share →: 75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Commentary:
Sounds like being a divorce lawyer is 75% playing "No" on repeat 🔄🚫. Who knew emails had a built-in reject button? 😂 #LawyerLife
6 months ago
Share →: I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone worked smarter not harder… straight into some legal trouble! 😅💼 Better call Saul, or better yet, maybe a lawyer who isn't fictional! 🕵️‍♂️⚖️"
6 months ago
Share →: Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Commentary:
Oh, can you imagine the drama and excitement in the courtroom if lawyers strutted in to their own walk-up songs like wrestlers do? 💼🎵 "Here comes the Judge" playing for intense moments and "Smooth Criminal" for smooth-talking attorneys. Just don't let them slam the gavel too dramatically! ⚖️🎶 #LegalShowdown

For even more funny lawyer quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny lawyer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

38 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Making waves on X:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Trending via Snapchat:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Live now on Telegram:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Just shared via Discord:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Shared recently on Threads:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

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