Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Live now on Twitch:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Spotted on Reddit:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My life is based on a true story.

Funny long wait quotes

Funny long wait quotes bring a hilarious twist to those never-ending moments ⏳😂 Whether you’re stuck in line, waiting for a reply, or watching the clock tick slowly, these witty sayings turn patience into pure comedy 🎭🕰️ Get ready to laugh away the boredom and find joy in every extra minute!

New funny long wait quotes 👇

All funny long wait quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

35 shares on Slack this month:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Source??? Pattern recognition.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Live now on YouTube:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Making waves on Telegram:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

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