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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Shared recently on Telegram:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Live now on Instagram:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Spotted on TikTok:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Making waves on TikTok:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Seen just now on Threads:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Funny magazine quotes

Funny magazine quotes bring a burst of laughter and wit to your day 📚😂 Whether you’re flipping through pages or scrolling online, these clever lines add sparkle ✨ and humor 😄 to any moment. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your mood, they prove that a little fun goes a long way! Ready to dive into some hilarious reads? Let’s get the giggles rolling! 🎉📖

New funny magazine quotes 👇

All funny magazine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Freshly posted on Slack:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Spreading quickly via X:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Trending via Twitch:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Going viral on Facebook:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

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