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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Live now on Reddit:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Just landed via Facebook:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Spreading quickly via X:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Going viral on Facebook:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Going viral on TikTok:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Just landed via Messenger:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Trending via Snapchat:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Just landed via Messenger:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Reported on Facebook:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

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