Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Trending via Snapchat:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Going bananas on Threads:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Just shared via Twitch:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Just landed via Twitch:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Trending via X:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Just landed via Discord:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Shared recently on Discord:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Funny medical profession quotes

Funny medical profession quotes bring a dose of laughter to the world of scrubs and stethoscopes 🩺😂 Whether you’re a doctor, nurse, or just love the chaos of healthcare, these witty gems will brighten your day and remind you that even medicine has its hilarious moments 🤪💉 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort a little—because laughter truly is the best medicine! 😄🩹

New funny medical profession quotes 👇

All funny medical profession quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

97 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Trending via Snapchat:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Going bananas on Discord:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Going viral on X:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

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