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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Live now on Messenger:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just shared via YouTube:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Trending via Slack:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Funny mingle quotes

Funny mingle quotes bring a splash of laughter to every social gathering 🎉😂 Whether you’re breaking the ice or just vibing with new friends, these witty lines keep the mood light and the smiles wide 😄✨ Perfect for social butterflies and awkward mixers alike, they turn mingling into a hilarious adventure 🦋💬 Ready to mingle and giggle? Let’s dive into the funniest way to spark connections! 🎈🔥

New funny mingle quotes 👇

All funny mingle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Making waves on Telegram:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Seen just now on Slack:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Going viral on Twitch:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Live now on X:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Spotted on Instagram:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Live now on X:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

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