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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Reported on WeChat:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Spotted on X:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Trending via Facebook:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Trending via TikTok:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Spotted on X:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

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Funny misinterpretation quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Just shared via Reddit:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Reported on Instagram:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just landed via Slack:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Spotted on Pinterest:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Just landed via Pinterest:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Going viral on Reddit:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

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