Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

427 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,696

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,696

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Spotted on Messenger:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Spotted on Discord:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Going viral on Messenger:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Just landed via Messenger:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Just landed via X:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Trending via Discord:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

324 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

6 months ago

beauty, beauty routine, bikini, bikini wax, coffee, cup, humor, morning, need, routine, schedule, thing, wax
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

6 months ago

day, energetic, feeling, humor, i, maybe, morning, parallel, parallel universe, refreshed, somewhere, thinking, tiredness, universe, wake, wake up, wishful, wishful thinking
Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

6 months ago

bed, bullshit, chores, daily, daily life, every, frustration, humor, i, life, morning, routine, single, things
What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

6 months ago

always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood

For even more funny morning quotes, hit next 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

46 shares on Slack this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Breaking via Slack:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Spotted on X:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Spotted on X:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Live now on Snapchat:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Spotted on X:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Trending via WeChat:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

324 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨