Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Spotted on Pinterest:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Live now on Instagram:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Breaking via Discord:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Just landed via Instagram:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Just shared via Instagram:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Going viral on Twitch:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Spotted on TikTok:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

254 Funny nothing quotes

More funny nothing quotes 👇

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

3 weeks ago

doing, doing nothing, favourite, humor, lay, laziness, nothing, pose, relaxation, still, stillness, where, yoga, yoga pose
Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

3 weeks ago

awkward, awkward moment, communication, conversation, humor, mistake, moment, nothing, person, regret, venting, worse, wrong
Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

3 weeks ago

awake, clock, every, grandfather, grandfather clock, hour, humor, insomnia, nothing, remind, reminder, sleep, still, time
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

3 weeks ago

courage, fear, humor, mindset, nothing, once, positivity, situation

For even more funny nothing quotes, hit next 👇

All funny nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Reddit this month:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

87 shares on Slack this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Going viral on Instagram:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Just shared via Telegram:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Going viral on Twitch:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Making waves on Slack:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

254 Funny nothing quotes

More funny nothing quotes 👇

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

All funny nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨