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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Going viral on WeChat:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Just landed via Telegram:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Shared recently on Slack:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Just landed via Threads:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Funny online access quotes

New funny online access quotes 👇

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

3 days ago

20, access, age, ago, anyone, digital, digital age, experience, hard, humor, internet, internet user, new, old, old internet, online, online access, sarcasm, should, stupid, technology, too, usability, used, user, user experience

All funny online access quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

17 shares on Discord this month:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

99 shares on X this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Just landed via YouTube:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Just shared via WeChat:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Seen just now on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Shared recently on X:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Making waves on Messenger:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny online access quotes

New funny online access quotes 👇

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

All funny online access quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨