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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Just shared via Threads:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Trending via Twitch:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Broadcasted on X:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Just shared via Slack:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Reported on Threads:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Reported on Slack:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Breaking via Twitch:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Seen just now on Discord:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Live now on LinkedIn:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Spotted on Twitch:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

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