Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Spotted on Threads:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Breaking via Discord:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Going viral on X:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Seen just now on X:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Home » Funny Open Up Quotes

Funny open up quotes

New funny open up quotes 👇

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

0

1 week ago

advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want
Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, humor, open, open up, opening, police, relationship, say, talk, talking, used, warning, woman

All funny open up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WeChat this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Spotted on Facebook:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Just shared via Reddit:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Just shared via Instagram:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Trending via Pinterest:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Breaking via TikTok:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny open up quotes

New funny open up quotes 👇

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

All funny open up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨