Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Just landed via Slack:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Trending via Facebook:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Going bananas on Threads:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Making waves on Reddit:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Going viral on WeChat:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Trending via WeChat:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Funny opener quotes

Funny opener quotes are the ultimate icebreakers 😂✨ Whether you’re starting a speech, a text, or just want to lighten the mood, these witty one-liners bring the giggles and good vibes right away 🎉😄 Get ready to charm your audience and spark some smiles with a perfect blend of humor and cleverness! 🚀🎈

New funny opener quotes 👇

All funny opener quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on X this month:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

34 shares on X this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

29 shares on Discord this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Making waves on Slack:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Trending via YouTube:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Trending via Snapchat:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Going viral on Messenger:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Making waves on YouTube:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Making waves on TikTok:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

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