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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

29 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Shared recently on Slack:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Just landed via Snapchat:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Reported on Threads:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Trending via Twitch:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Home » Funny Opener Quotes

Funny opener quotes

New funny opener quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Commentary:
"Breaking news: A revolutionary email opener has hit the scene! 💌✨ Say 'I am interested in bothering you!' and watch those responses flood in like never before. Who knew bothering someone could be so engaging? 😜 #EmailGameChanger"
6 months ago
Share →: Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but let's talk about the satisfaction of smoothly opening a can with a can opener that actually works 💪🥫 Who needs romance when you have the perfect tool for your beans and tuna? 😂 #Priorities"

For even more funny opener quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny opener quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

29 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Just shared via TikTok:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

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