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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,960

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,960

3 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Trending via Telegram:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Trending via TikTok:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Shared recently on Slack:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Just landed via Threads:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Just landed via Reddit:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Just shared via Instagram:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Home » Funny Opposite Quotes » Page 2

12 Funny opposite quotes

More funny opposite quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Commentary:
🐶🐱 "Watching Tom and Jerry as a kid really messed with my understanding of the animal kingdom! Turns out, it's the 'innocent' dogs who are the real bullies to the sophisticated felines. Who knew that cartoon chaos could lead to such insightful revelations? Time for some serious pet therapy sessions! 🙈😂"
6 months ago
Share →: If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Commentary:
"Attempting the 'opposite parenting strategy' like a mad scientist? Universe be like: 'Nice try, Sherlock! Parenting puzzles are a whole different galaxy 🌌.' 🤣"

For even more funny opposite quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny opposite quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,960

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,960

3 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Spotted on Reddit:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Going viral on YouTube:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

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