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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Spotted on Twitch:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Just landed via Discord:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Going viral on TikTok:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Making waves on Threads:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Just shared via WeChat:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Breaking via Instagram:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Funny Ouija Board quotes

Funny Ouija Board quotes are the perfect way to add a spooky twist with a splash of laughter 👻😂 Whether you’re summoning spirits or just having a game night, these witty lines will keep the vibes light and the chills playful 🎉🕯️ Get ready to entertain your friends and maybe even trick a ghost or two! 🎲👀 #SpookyAndSilly

New funny Ouija Board quotes 👇

All funny Ouija Board quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

58 shares on X this month:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

99 shares on Slack this month:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

54 shares on X this month:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Making waves on X:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Just landed via Instagram:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Going viral on Telegram:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Going bananas on Threads:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

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