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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Just shared via TikTok:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Trending via Snapchat:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Spotted on YouTube:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Spotted on Facebook:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Making waves on X:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Spotted on Slack:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Funny overeating quotes

Funny overeating quotes 🍕😂 bring a hilarious twist to those guilty food binges we all love! Whether you’ve devoured one too many slices or just can’t say no to dessert 🍰😋, these witty lines will have you laughing through the food coma. Get ready to embrace the joy of indulgence with a side of humor—because sometimes, overeating is just too funny to resist! 🍔🤣

New funny overeating quotes 👇

All funny overeating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

79 shares on X this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Shared recently on X:

Social media is mental suicide.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Just landed via Facebook:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Going viral on TikTok:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Going viral on Telegram:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Live now on WhatsApp:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

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