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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Spotted on Reddit:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Making waves on Facebook:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Just shared via WeChat:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Going viral on WeChat:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Funny Panda quotes

Funny Panda quotes 🐼 are the perfect way to add a splash of cuteness and laughter to your day! These adorable black-and-white fluffballs know how to keep things light and silly 😄 Whether you need a quick smile or some panda-powered positivity, get ready to giggle and feel all the cozy vibes 🐾✨. Dive into the world of panda humor and let the fun begin!

New funny Panda quotes 👇

All funny Panda quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Broadcasted on X:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Going bananas on Slack:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Just landed via Telegram:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Freshly posted on X:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Just shared via TikTok:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

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