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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Going bananas on Threads:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Just shared via Threads:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Breaking via Discord:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Breaking via Slack:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Just landed via TikTok:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Broadcasted on X:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Just landed via Instagram:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

23 Funny park quotes

More funny park quotes 👇

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

3 months ago

activity, adventure, curiosity, dinosaurs, even, exploration, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jurassic, Jurassic Park, park, risk, say, seen, visit
If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

3 months ago

animals, comparison, humor, husband, jurassic, Jurassic Park, listen, need, night, park, sleep, snore, sound
Twitter is an abusement park.

3 months ago

abusement, amusement, fun, humor, irony, media, park, social, social media, Twitter

For even more funny park quotes, hit next 👇

All funny park quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

36 shares on Threads this month:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Making waves on Twitch:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Going viral on X:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Just landed via Discord:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Making waves on Reddit:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Spotted on Facebook:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

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Activity Log ✨

23 Funny park quotes

More funny park quotes 👇

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Twitter is an abusement park.

All funny park quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨