Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,977

Funny Quotes Topics

14,782

Funny Quotes Images

11,977

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Live now on X:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Just landed via YouTube:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Shared recently on WeChat:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Live now on Reddit:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Home » Funny Past Posts Quotes

Funny past posts quotes

New funny past posts quotes 👇

For even more funny past posts quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny past posts quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,977

Funny Quotes Topics

14,782

Funny Quotes Images

11,977

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Live now on Instagram:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Trending via Instagram:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Live now on Twitch:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Going viral on Threads:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴