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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has shared:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has copied:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Telegram:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Making waves on Facebook:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Going viral on Instagram:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Live now on WeChat:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Seen just now on Slack:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Spotted on Messenger:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Funny phobia quotes

Funny phobia quotes bring a lighthearted twist to our deepest fears πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚, turning anxiety into laughs and making the scary stuff way less serious! Whether you’re afraid of spiders πŸ•·οΈ, heights πŸ§—, or just the fear of missing out 🀳, these witty lines will have you giggling through the goosebumps. Ready to face your fears with a smile? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on phobias! πŸŽ‰πŸΎ

New funny phobia quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny phobia quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

46 shares on Threads this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

75 shares on X this month:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has copied:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has shared:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Π†t’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has downloaded:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has downloaded:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Discord:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Going bananas on Discord:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Breaking via Twitch:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

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