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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Spotted on Discord:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Seen just now on X:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Trending via Messenger:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Spotted on Slack:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Making waves on Instagram:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Making waves on Instagram:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Breaking via TikTok:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Trending via TikTok:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

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