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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m running out of people I like.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Making waves on Instagram:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Just landed via Instagram:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Trending via Messenger:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Shared recently on Slack:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Funny rappers quotes

Funny rappers quotes bring the perfect mix of clever wordplay and hilarious vibes 🎤😂 From witty punchlines to unexpected twists, these lines will have you laughing out loud and nodding your head in agreement 🎧🔥 Whether you’re a hip-hop fan or just love a good joke, these quotes serve up endless entertainment and good vibes. Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even spit some bars yourself! 😎🎶

New funny rappers quotes 👇

All funny rappers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Threads this month:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

33 shares on X this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Spotted on Telegram:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Shared recently on Threads:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Spotted on Instagram:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Going viral on Threads:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

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