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15,825 funny quotes and pics

17,821 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 31, 2026

 

 

 

 

195 Funny relationships quotes

Funny relationship quotes are all about the ups and downs that come with being in a couple! šŸ˜†šŸ’‘ Whether it’s dealing with misunderstandings, playful banter, or realizing how much you’ve changed for each other, these quotes remind us that relationships are full of funny moments. After all, love might be serious, but laughter is what keeps it fun! šŸ˜‚ā¤ļøšŸ—£ļø

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My life coach traded me.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

ā€œSome men go months without being hugged.ā€ Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Posted onMay 22, 2026

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Girls will be like ā€œit’s fineā€ and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Turns out that ending meetings with ā€œhave the day you deserveā€ has made me some enemies at work.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

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