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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Going viral on YouTube:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Trending via Instagram:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Just landed via Instagram:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Going viral on Threads:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Funny resealable quotes

Funny resealable quotes are the perfect way to keep the laughs fresh and never let the humor go stale! 😂🛍️ Whether you’re sealing snacks or sealing smiles, these witty lines snap back with just the right amount of sass and cheer. Ready to sprinkle some giggles on your day? Let’s pop open the fun and enjoy a resealable dose of humor that sticks around! 😄✨🔄

New funny resealable quotes 👇

All funny resealable quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Being awake is the worst.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great day, and then, people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Spotted on Messenger:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Trending via YouTube:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Trending via Slack:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Making waves on Slack:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Just shared via YouTube:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

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