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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Breaking via Facebook:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Going viral on Threads:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Making waves on YouTube:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Reported on Discord:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Just shared via WeChat:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Going viral on Threads:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Trending via Snapchat:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Live now on Snapchat:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Going viral on Twitch:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Spotted on X:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Reported on Messenger:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

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