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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Trending via Twitch:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Trending via TikTok:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Just landed via TikTok:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Just shared via Messenger:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Just landed via Threads:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Funny rugged quotes

Funny rugged quotes bring a cheeky twist to tough vibes 💪😄 Whether you’re all about outdoor adventures or just love a bit of grit with your giggles, these sayings add humor to hardiness 🏕️🔥 Get ready to embrace the wild side with a smile and maybe even a wink 😉🪓 Perfect for anyone who’s rough around the edges but soft at heart!

New funny rugged quotes 👇

All funny rugged quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

18 shares on X this month:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

13 shares on Discord this month:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

42 shares on Slack this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Trending via LinkedIn:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Going viral on Instagram:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Just shared via Slack:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Spotted on WeChat:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

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