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Sounds like the perfect place for a surprise… or a life lesson!
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
As you can see from my résumé, I am proficient in lying.
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Applying for the secret service are we?
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.
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Trying to change an idiot's mind is like trying to teach a cat to bark! 🐱🙉
Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.
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When your spirit animal is a hibernating bear 😂😴🐻
I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.
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Ah yes, my thesis on napping techniques during lectures really changed the world! 😂🎓📚
The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.
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I hope your grin is permanent 😂🖊️
Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.
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Just another episode in the sitcom called life! Can’t wait for the season finale 😂🍿📺
The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.
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Relatable content alert: proof that even I can't stand how awesome I am for a solid 24 hours a day 😂🤷♂️
There’s a certain nothing about you.
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You're like a blank canvas, ready to be painted with potential! 🎨😄
I love when the universe delivers receipts.
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When karma goes paperless and starts emailing hilarious updates 📧😂🧾