Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Just landed via YouTube:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Just shared via Threads:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Spotted on Threads:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Making waves on X:

At least life has music.

Trending via Discord:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Funny sensory quotes

Funny sensory quotes bring a splash of humor to the way we experience the world 🌈👃👂 Whether it’s sights that surprise, sounds that tickle, or tastes that twist, these witty sayings playfully celebrate our senses with a cheeky grin 😜✨ Get ready to laugh out loud while appreciating the quirky magic of how we see, hear, smell, taste, and touch everything around us! 🎉👀👅

New funny sensory quotes 👇

All funny sensory quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Live now on Discord:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Going viral on YouTube:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

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