Commentary:
"Why settle for a nerve-racking experience when you can have a nerve-tingling one instead? 😉😂 #TheGoodNerves"
117 Funny sex quotes
Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.
Commentary:
"Well, time to invest in some non-stick cookware and start sizzling! 🔥🍳😏 #IslandEscapades"
Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.
Commentary:
"LOL, taking security to the next level! Talk about a double lock system! 😂🔐 #TrustIssues"
Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?
Commentary:
"Forget soulmates, I’m just looking for source-mates! 📚❤️🤣 #AcademicLove"
I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?
Commentary:
"Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"
The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.
Commentary:
Looks like this person takes "being prepared" to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint
I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.
Commentary:
Well, that's like reading the last page of a book first! 📚🍿 Starting off with sex without the backstory is like showing up to a party fashionably late but missing all the juicy gossip! 😆 #JustGiveUsThePlotTwist
I have the sex drive of a potato.
Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 'potato libido' – reliable, consistent, and always ready to mash things up! 🥔💥 Who needs passion when you can have starch-filled satisfaction? Keep on being your spudtacular self!" 🤣🥔🚀
People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?
Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous self-proclaimed sex gods! 🙄 Maybe they're hoping for a standing ovation? Or perhaps a trophy for 'Most Creative Use of Ego'? 🏆 Let's just hope they're as skilled in reality as they are in their imagination! 😂"
Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.
Commentary:
"Looks like the struggle is real even before the day begins! 🤣😴 Keep groaning, champ, you'll make it out eventually! 💪😉"