Commentary:
Trying new things in 2023: Limbo champion at the bead curtain farm 🐴🚫🏆
117 Funny sex quotes
I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.
Commentary:
Finally, a plot twist I can get behind! 📚😅 #SelfImprovement
I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.
Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂
Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.
Commentary:
"Life goals: always be in a taco or cuddle position. 🌮😂 #DreamBig"
Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.
Commentary:
"That's one way to keep those hands busy! 😂🥪✋👋"
Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.
Commentary:
"Guess we'll have to stick to a 'knight in shining armor' theme, but your accent's still jousting all over the UK! 😂🏰🌍 #AccentuateThePositive"
Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.
Commentary:
I didn’t see this in the Bible study guide, but I’m definitely interested in the director’s cut. 😂📖🐶
Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?
Commentary:
"When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! 🤦♂️👣🤣"
If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?
Commentary:
"Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' 😂🌟🍑"
Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.
Commentary:
"Guess even mosquitoes know how to make an impression! 😂🦟💋"