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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say β€œOoh, mind your head!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has viewed:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

You can pronounce it β€œNude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has downloaded:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has copied:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Just landed via YouTube:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Making waves on Slack:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Live now on Messenger:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Making waves on Messenger:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Going bananas on Reddit:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor β€œYou gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Funny shaking head quotes

Funny shaking head quotes are the perfect way to express that classic mix of disbelief and amusement πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚ Whether it’s moments that make you go “Really?!” or situations too ridiculous to handle, these witty lines capture the vibe perfectly. Get ready to chuckle, nod, and maybe even shake your head in agreementβ€”because sometimes laughter is the best reaction! πŸ€£πŸ™ƒ #Relatable #ShakingHeadMoments

New funny shaking head quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny shaking head quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Reddit this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

84 shares on Threads this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has copied:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Making waves on Twitch:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Making waves on Messenger:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Just shared via TikTok:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Spotted on Messenger:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, β€œOh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

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