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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Spotted on Discord:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Reported on Snapchat:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Seen just now on Slack:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Just shared via Discord:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Making waves on X:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Trending via Discord:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Seen just now on Slack:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Live now on Telegram:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Just shared via YouTube:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Making waves on Instagram:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Just landed via Slack:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Seen just now on TikTok:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

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