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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Trending via Messenger:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Breaking via Discord:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Just shared via TikTok:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

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All funny small business quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Trending via Reddit:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Making waves on TikTok:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Reported on YouTube:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Breaking via YouTube:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

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