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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Trending via TikTok:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Just landed via Reddit:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Live now on Slack:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Spotted on TikTok:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Funny small business quotes

Funny small business quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to the everyday grind of entrepreneurship 💼. Whether you’re juggling clients, deadlines, or coffee ☕, these witty gems remind you to laugh through the chaos 😂. Perfect for boosting your mood and sharing a smile with fellow biz owners, they prove that behind every success story is a little bit of fun and a whole lot of hustle 💪✨.

New funny small business quotes 👇

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

2 days ago

anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work
The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

2 days ago

bakery, business, coffee, coffee shop, creative, creative business, feminine, feminine urge, flower, flower shop, humor, library, multitasking, multitasking business, open, shop, small, small business, urge
If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

4 days ago

business, company, entrepreneurship, feeling, humor, little, loneliness, lonely, motivation, small, small business, start

All funny small business quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on X this month:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

46 shares on Threads this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Trending via X:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Just shared via Telegram:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Making waves on Messenger:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Making waves on Reddit:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

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