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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Breaking via Telegram:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Trending via Slack:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Spotted on YouTube:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Breaking via X:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Funny small business quotes

Funny small business quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to the everyday grind of entrepreneurship 💼. Whether you’re juggling clients, deadlines, or coffee ☕, these witty gems remind you to laugh through the chaos 😂. Perfect for boosting your mood and sharing a smile with fellow biz owners, they prove that behind every success story is a little bit of fun and a whole lot of hustle 💪✨.

New funny small business quotes 👇

All funny small business quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

80 shares on Threads this month:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

21 shares on X this month:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Life update: it’s getting worse.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,491

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Just landed via Facebook:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Spotted on WeChat:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Making waves on Slack:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Freshly posted on X:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Just landed via X:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

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