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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Seen just now on WeChat:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Going viral on TikTok:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Trending via X:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Making waves on Telegram:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Trending via Slack:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Trending via Telegram:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Just landed via Discord:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Funny small business quotes

Funny small business quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to the everyday grind of entrepreneurship 💼. Whether you’re juggling clients, deadlines, or coffee ☕, these witty gems remind you to laugh through the chaos 😂. Perfect for boosting your mood and sharing a smile with fellow biz owners, they prove that behind every success story is a little bit of fun and a whole lot of hustle 💪✨.

New funny small business quotes 👇

All funny small business quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

65 shares on X this month:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

91 shares on Slack this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Making waves on TikTok:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Just shared via WeChat:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Going viral on TikTok:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Just landed via Telegram:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Spotted on X:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Spreading quickly via X:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Making waves on Discord:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

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