Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Trending via TikTok:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Live now on Messenger:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Making waves on X:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Going bananas on TikTok:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Funny small car quotes

Funny small car quotes 🚗💨 bring a smile to every tiny ride enthusiast! Whether you’re zipping through city streets or parking in impossibly tight spots, these witty lines celebrate the charm and quirks of small cars. Expect laughs, relatable moments, and a whole lot of automotive fun 🛣️😂. Perfect for sharing with your fellow compact car fans or adding some humor to your daily drive!

New funny small car quotes 👇

All funny small car quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Threads this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

70 shares on Facebook this month:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

75 shares on Slack this month:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Going bananas on Discord:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Just shared via TikTok:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Just landed via WeChat:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴