Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Making waves on Slack:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Making waves on Slack:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Going viral on YouTube:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Going viral on YouTube:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Seen just now on Threads:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Funny swag quotes

Funny swag quotes are the perfect way to boost your style game and crack a smile 😎✨ Whether you’re rocking cool vibes or just need a quick laugh 😂🔥, these witty lines add that extra sparkle to your day. Get ready to flex your confidence and spread some good vibes with humor that’s as fresh as your swag! 💥😜 #StayCool #SwagModeOn

New funny swag quotes 👇

All funny swag quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

63 shares on Threads this month:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Just shared via Twitch:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Breaking via Twitch:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Trending via TikTok:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Going viral on X:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just landed via Discord:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

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