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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Making waves on Slack:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Trending via Twitch:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Going viral on Threads:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Spotted on Slack:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Live now on LinkedIn:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Just shared via Threads:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Funny thigh quotes

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New funny thigh quotes 👇

All funny thigh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Live now on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Live now on Telegram:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Just landed via Slack:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Seen just now on Slack:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Trending via Discord:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Just landed via Slack:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

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