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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Trending via X:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Just landed via Messenger:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Live now on Discord:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Funny thigh quotes

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New funny thigh quotes 👇

All funny thigh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

24 shares on X this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

18 shares on Slack this month:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

100 shares on Slack this month:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Just shared via X:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Breaking via X:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Freshly posted on X:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Making waves on Messenger:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

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