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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Jan 6, 2026

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Live now on Telegram:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Going viral on Twitch:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Going viral on Discord:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Just shared via WeChat:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Spotted on YouTube:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Funny ups and downs quotes

Funny ups and downs quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s rollercoaster 🎢😂 Whether you’re soaring high or stuck in a silly slip, these witty sayings remind us to laugh through the chaos 😜✨ Embrace the unpredictable ride with a smile and a chuckle—because sometimes, laughing at life’s mess-ups is the best therapy! 🤪💫 Ready to brighten your day with some cheeky humor? Let’s dive in! 🎉🤣

New funny ups and downs quotes 👇

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

0

2 days ago

days, downs, feel, feeling, feels, humor, i, life, me, mood, pressure, top, ups, ups and downs, world
Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

0

2 days ago

downs, forever, hard, humor, life, metaphor, never, penis, resilience, sexuality, sometimes, ups, ups and downs
Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

0

2 months ago

balance, ball, bat, days, downs, fun, humor, life, perspective, sports, ups, ups and downs
Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

0

2 months ago

day, days, downs, fan, humor, life, perspective, shit, ups, ups and downs
Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

0

2 months ago

days, downs, humor, life, perspective, table, toe, ups, ups and downs
Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

0

2 months ago

buttons, downs, elevator, family, humor, kids, love, parenting, parenting struggles, push, push buttons, struggles, ups, ups and downs

All funny ups and downs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

54 shares on Slack this month:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

73 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

59 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,251

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Shared recently on X:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Breaking via WeChat:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Spotted on Threads:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Spotted on Reddit:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Going viral on YouTube:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Going viral on Twitch:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Trending via Slack:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

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