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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Freshly posted on X:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Trending via Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Going viral on X:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Funny USB quotes

Funny USB quotes are here to add a touch of humor to your tech world! 💻😂 Whether you’ve struggled with the classic “which way does it go?” dilemma or just enjoy a good tech joke, these quotes will bring a smile to your face. Plug in and get ready to laugh! 😆🔌

New funny USB quotes 👇

All funny USB quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Slack this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

48 shares on Threads this month:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

16 shares on X this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not feeling very worky today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Live now on X:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The peace of not knowing.

Just landed via Facebook:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Live now on Slack:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Just shared via Twitch:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Trending via Slack:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

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