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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Making waves on Twitch:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Spotted on Pinterest:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Making waves on X:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

53 Funny wine quotes

More funny wine quotes 👇

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

1 month ago

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Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

1 month ago

40, age, age range, app, dating, dating app, drinking, fight, fighting, grape, humor, over, range, set, while, wine
Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

1 month ago

drinking, fill, funny question, glass, glass size, humor, large, question, size, top, why, wine, wine glass

For even more funny wine quotes, hit next 👇

All funny wine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Breaking via Messenger:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Shared recently on Facebook:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Going viral on WeChat:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Spotted on Slack:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Making waves on Messenger:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Live now on Facebook:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

53 Funny wine quotes

More funny wine quotes 👇

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

All funny wine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨