Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Trending via WeChat:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Just shared via Instagram:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Just shared via WeChat:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

3 weeks ago

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Santa's workshop clearly skipped the class on budget management 😂🎅💸

account, adulting, age, bank, bank account, being, buy, Christmas, family, family gift, feel, finance, gift, gifts, hate, holiday, holiday shopping, humor, i, money, obligation, shopping, support, where, whole

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40 shares on Messenger this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

78 shares on Slack this month:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Breaking via TikTok:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Making waves on TikTok:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Making waves on X:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

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Activity Log ✨

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Keep the laugh going 😂

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨